and i will wait to find if this will last for ever

&theend

Sat, 09 Sep 2006 17:28:44 GMT

okay i'm seriously going to start using cupcakecorex.

so goodbye d3dly_d3sign.

<333

addd meeee!!!!

cupcakecorex

&that feeling....

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 06:17:24 GMT

i'm sitting here eating cotton candy just having fun listening to ghetto music
yah just chillin at Jills.

i've given up on boys. seriously. i'll die being lonely. with a million cats and like an online website for unstable couples and their issues.

i might be going down to Long Island with Amber and Jill... like Tuesday i guess. i'm not sure yet. i really want to go though. i want to be in LI and hanging out on the beach with the crazy fish and being hyper, sitting where my name sake was created "Sugar Rush." getting a nice get away before school starts. it'll be a nice start. i suppose.

i heard from Courtney and Joel that something's up with Janice and that she needs to come here to get away or something. I really wish she'd call me when somethings up. and i wish courtney was smart enough to realize that i've been at Jills for the past two nights, because my away message only said that for two days. seriously. i dunno though. i hope she's okay. i think i'll call her tomorrow.

yah Mack and Vinny and Amber and Jill might come over tomorrow and swim. Depending if it's nice out or not. and then Monday night we're going to throwdown, i'll crash at Jills house. then tuesday mornging i'm leaving [[hopefully]]. then i have no idea when i'm coming back up.
for steves sake it's before the 5th. haha. it has to be.

yah i don't know what else to write really.

i had so much fun at the party, i was sooo happy i got to finally meet Amber because she's so fuckin' awesome and my life wouldn't be as fun without her. <33333

we went to the faire tonight which was so funny. we saw Mike there and Corey and we went on some funny ass rides and basically just ate. lol haha. and it was just so much fun because we were yelling at cute boys. hehe. crazy amber.

and now i feel like puking from all the food intake from the past two days. ughhhhhh...

so i guess i'm gonna go so i can be a bum with Amber and watch Jill kill people and steal their cars and complain about how the hoes have no money. bitches that's right. Grand Theft Auto. hehe.

mucho la la love.
Teh Mint

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 04:09:38 GMT

our pool is going to be fixed soon. yay!
and i should really work more on my story.
summer school starts the 10th
i'm babysitting from 12 to 4-6ish?
i have 91 dollars to my name as of right now.
i don't babysit for another 9 days....
i need to go to the mall and buy a necklace.
and get Min something for her birthday
it's the 19th.

So over the past two weeks or so i've watched a lot of movies...
These were just from over the past two days.

Gingersnaps
Wimbleton
A Date Movie
Casanova

but i also watched

Garden State
Chocolat
The Man in the Iron Mask
Underworld Evolution
The Last Samuri

i don't remember the rest, but i always watch a lot of movies at Jills house.

i really want to see

Vanityfair
Pride and Prejuiduce
Annapolis
Casablanca

Piercings and Tattoos i plan on getting

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 22:01:44 GMT

So i've decided that in a month i'm going to get my tongue pierced. I went onto bmeenzine.com and i was looking around to see what i really wanted and stuff, and it occured to me that maybe i'd get venoms. but i'm not sure. i want one in the center. and i also need help deciding what kind of cherries to get on my hips. I found a lot of pretty ones. So please take a look and help me pick.
Also Kelsey, i found some really cute inner lip tattoos; i think we should seriously get a sister tattoo and do that. It seems pretty cool. I'll put the pictures up in the cut.
<3333

[[ Basically i have this picture because i think this boy's really really cute xD but lookit the tongue piercings :D]]

and i'm debating getting this one done [[ below]]

So what do you think i should get done? i'm thinking the first or the second. But i'm not sure.

And the Tattoos

Kelsey and i decided on this for my 18th birthday sister present.

Cherries!!!!

I'm thinking 2 or 4. I reallly like 4 but 2 is very me too. So help me with that too!
<3333

mucho love.

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 06:28:52 GMT

hah. i don't know what happened to that last entry.

i apologize.

<333

Tales from the Backyard PotHead

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 03:29:04 GMT

i love seeing Jill happy. it makes me really happy. i just keep checkin out that picture of her and Jay on here and i smile because i took that picture and because they both are so happy around each other.
mah lovely rams <3
hehe.

So Kal and i have been dating for a week. werd. and i'm seeing him a lot more, which is awesome. he remembered where i lived and yesterday he hung out with me and Jill till she left and then we hung out and he met mom and dad. but i didn't tell them he was my boyfriend. i'm waiting till they get to know him better and feel more comfortable, and him too, cause he was so nervous to meet them. ahh he's so cute. and he stole his hat back, which is like grrr. blah. Suddenly i want to watch Dumbo with him, because he asked about Disney movies when i was talking about them and he said Dumbo ; cause i said i can't watch Bambi. it was cool. he never called me back though. which doesn't bother me, just makes me wonder what he's doing, cause apparently only the COOL KIDS sit in Poughkeepsie High Schools parking lot and smoke weed.

which for some reason having said that, Fred has been basically living down the street from my house at his girlfriends house. i don't remember her name. i don't personally care. and i told him i was dating Kal and that fucker smacked my hand really effin hard. yah. so it's creepy enough he's been down the street from me, god knows what he's been doing around here.

and now that leads me to Josh. I get a call from Joshua Martinez, aka Twinkie, aka the ex, aka infamous. And i think it's Fred too much so i'm like wtf... you'd think i'd remember that damn hottie of a Dominican/ Puerto Rican fatty's name on the phone. i only spent a year and 6 months blinded by his assholeness which apparently is lurring girls to him by the day. but anyways. he and i talked which was nice because i really want to maintain a friendship with him, because he really is a good friend. well he was to me anyway, but he also liked me way back two summers ago so god knows. damn i've known those fuckers going on two and a half years. wow.... well none the less i miss him and i can't wait till the Stiffler show. cause that should be fun. ^________^

and apparently Kal has a song for me already... Glitter by Motley Crue and Without you by Motley Crue, which is so cute. <3

i dunno what else i was gonna write. Jill and Kal got my off course

and so everyone knows, Kals color of the day is Green. that's important, yo!

haha
Love

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 21:44:44 GMT

*The Story of Harlequin*

Harlequin, who is a good friend of mine and a very special person, is the next victum, i mean person i'm going to tell my story of.In her spare time Harlequin likes to giggle, color hair, get made fun of my Star and Raelin.She has a wide selection of music she prefures,and she's an over all awesomely cool lesbian. This is what she said about my story one night while i began to write it

"hmm hmm Im very sweet and perky like always but .. if you cross me I can get downright pissed and in your face. If anyone messed with any of you in the story you can guarantee Id do something crazyI love changing in the middle of sales isle's to try clothes on instead of going to the changing roomhahaI like cheesecake ice cream omg! orgasm!Im very perverted .. I use alot of perverted words"
"But Im from LA, grew up there on the streets. I travel alot, across the US alot, mostly up and down cali, oregon, washington, hawaii, michigan, here, etc you obviously know you guys are special cause me and people my own age .. dont get along all my friends are older im a downright and out lesbian except for john .. gah hes an acception .. for now. I drink alot, but Im responsible I will only get flat out drunk at a house where Im safe.but mostly have a beer on me cause I dont get wasted off of beer"
i dont know what youd like to know you can ask anything though especially anything personal oh and Im very open about sex .I love talking about it .. with coffee ..yeah! and I always carry a buck knife in my bra .. and i carry my money and credit card and phone in my bra and I just quit smoking for good"
"I love the song Doing the Unstuck by the curewell Im a downright huge fan."

I listened to Harli talk and babble and i smiled because it was awesome. I didn't know her too too well but i knew her enough at the time but i apreciated her enough to know certain things about her. After she told me what she wanted to, we began talking about teddy bears. They're an important role in the story. There was Raelyn Bear and Mr. which were my bears. Star had Star Bear and Harli had Splunker.

Splunker was a punk rocker teddy. He wore an army vest. He was white. He was awesome.

Raelyn Bear was a grunge bear. She's twins with Star Bear. But the thing about Raelyn bear is that she is genderless. Sometimes i refure to her as a girl, other times a male. She's a; transgendered, transexual, pansexual gay bear. She's anything she wants to be. She's orange and pink tiedyed.

Mr. is R.B.'s best male friend bear. He has a long name but when i was given him as a christmas gift a few years back i just shortened it. He's white and has glasses. He talks sometimes. He says. I love you Minty, but he sounds like a girl. Like my 13 year old sister actually.

Star Bear is the bear who lookes brand new. She's spoiled and sits in Star's room being a brat. She's tiedyed too and has a pink bow in her hair. She's the girly one.

These bears are very important to the story. It shows that girls will be girls with their toys.

This is the start to many of the chapters known or having to deal with Harliquin. We're just getting warmed up here.

"Kick out the gloom

Kick out the blues

Tear out the pages with all the bad news

Pull down the mirrors and pull down the walls

Tear up the stairs and tear up the floors

Oh just burn down the house!

Burn down the street!

Turn everything red and the beat is complete

With the sound of your world

Going up in the fire

It's a perfect day to throw back your head

And kiss it all goodbye!"

BOYS

It had been two weeks since my little encounter with Zadok's lips. I wasn't trying to avoid him, but i had suddenly managed to hit the jack pot of emotional feelings. I also paid off my portion of the apartment off for the month. Of course over the years Zadok had tried to convince me to move into his cute little apartment, but i always said no. Even when things had gotten rough between my parents, and even when things had gotten rough between Star and myself. I never took his offer up. I think i said no because i secretely wished he was gay so i would always have strong arms to fall into withough worrying about him wondering how quick it'd take to get my bra off.

I had been sitting at my desk writing like a mad woman for the past two days and Star worried every time she came into the living room. She thought i was going to wear the keys out on my lap top or i was going to die from over caffinated-ness. Then after she returned home from work one afternoon she asked if i needed anything cause she was going to the store and when i told her i needed a pack of cigarettes she just winced. She did return though, with a pack of cigarettes for me.

When ever i became stressed i always started smoking. It wsn't addictive to me. Only when i was stressed. My actions worried everyone except of course, myself. I threw out my life style so i could say i accomplished something. My story was coming along really well though. It was a wonderful feeling, the feeling of doing something that i was prevented from.

It was a Wednesday evening, the sun was just setting and Star stormed into the house and told me to save my work. Unfortunantly i had just been staring at the ceiling for the past two hours so there wasn't anything to save. I looked at her.

"Listen Rae. You need to get up and get your life back. Things were going good. You need to get a job. We need the money. I know you're working on a book. A best seller. But until that i need my living partner to help me. I need someone to talk to. I can't talk to anyone like i can talk to you. You've been sitting there so monotone for two weeks. You don't even realize when someone's standing next to you or not. You don't eat anything, you need to shower. I never see you get up. You just sit here and smoke cigarettes.Which kill. You could one night fall asleep and drop the cigarette and kills us. And my god. Zadok has called your cell phone like a million times to make sure you're okay. Alive. You're parents called last night to ask us to come for dinner this weekend. You're not going to say no are you? they haven't seen you in three weeks. I can't live like this anymore Please. Get up and get a life." She stopped. I saw tears forming in her eyes. I blinked. I was still leaning back in my chair with my feet on the desk and my cigarette in between my fingers. I breathed deeply.

"I need to get a hold of Froth."

"That's all you can fucking say to me after two weeks of not saying a word to me unless to buy you cancer sticks?" She looked like she was going to burst out crying now.
I got up and went over to her and said camly.

"Darling, don't take this the wrong way, but don't take life so seriously. Stop trying to control people like they're robots. STOP. Trying to figure everyone else. Stop trying to put yourself to blame when people back into their shells.Just stop. They're not figure-able. There's no figuring them out!" I grabbed her face and kissed her hard before taking my leave of the house. I think i left her there shocked. I just needed my space. She never really realized that, i didn't think anyway.

As i drove around the town of Poughkeepsie i realized i didn't need to see Froth just yet. I owed my attention to Zadok. So i drove to his house. I didn't know if he was there or not but i was about to find out. This is what i'd call a Spontanous Mission. When he opened his door and saw me i leapt into his arms and began making out with him passionately. i knew he was smiling at me in his head, because i was too. He led me through the dark house to his room and suprisingly even though i hadn't been there in a few months i knew where everything was. Even in the dark. His bed was the most comforting thing i'd knoen for the past two weeks and him on top of me,kissing me was about the only thing my brain could handle at the moment. He wanted t more. No.No. No more than this. Just this. No more than this.
he did stop though. He heard me asking him to stop. Just take it slow. He said he didn't want to take it slow anymore. We'd known each other for too long to take things slow anymore. He wanted something fast. Something solid, something real. I ust didn't feel ready. He still layed on me, his hair falling over his shoulders and i had to reach for it, it was so pretty. His chest was are but his tattoo was visible in the moonlight. He kissed my neck and i wondered if things were supposed to be like this. I wasn't sure. I just knew i felt safe with him. That's all that mattered for the moment.

I didn't have my cell phone with me but i knew Star had Zadoks number. So i waited until late to call her. She wasn't mad, just concerned with me. I told her i'd be home in the morning. She sighed and i heard a male voice in the background. I knew she had invited Gene over. I knew she was safe as well as myself. After i got off the phone, Zadok put his arms around my waist and pulled me back to bed. He was being moe gentle than i thought he'd ever be. Then aain i'd never really viewed him as more than a friend or a crush. He held me close as we fell asleep together, entwined and touching. It was just the feeling i needed and i decided i was going to stop trying to convince myself i was so indepentent all the time.

Hot Chocolate

"Moring Love."

"Morning." I smiled.

"Did you sleep well?" He stood up and went to the stove. He began making something. I sat next to the window on the ledge thing.

"Yah. Did you?"

"Of course, because you were here." He smiled really big.

"What are you're plan for today?" I looked at my toes.

"Nothing. What are you doing?"

"I'm going to the mall."

"Oh i thought we could hang out." He handed me hot chocolate and sat down on the floor and leaned on my legs.

"Maybe later. I have to get a job." He looked sorta hurt. I sipped my drink and put it down on the floor.

Zadok stood up and pulled me up with him. He picked me up over his shoulder and dragged me into his room. We fell on the bed together and he started kissing me.

"I really want to have sex with you Raelin. You drive me nuts." He said softly playing with my hair.

"I'm not ready Zadok. I don't know how else to put it but that."

"You must be playing with me then."

"No. I'm really not. I just don't want to ruin this."

"What is it with you?" he was getting angry.

"What's with me?" I pushed him off me and got up.

"Yah. Haven't you seen how much i like you Rae. After all these years you finally show more than a friendly side to me and i still feel like you don't really want me." I grabbed my clothes and grabbed one of his jackets by accident.

"No. You don't understand Zadok. I don't want to lose you as a friend. I love you too much. You mean too much to me. I'm loosing too many people who mean something to me. If you can't respect that in me, i don't know what to tell you. Something just doesn't feel right to me right now okay. Can you respect that?"

"Raelin."

"No. I'm leaving. I'll see you later." I grabbed my keys off the table and slammed the door behind me. Today was colder than i could handle.

"Rae." A deep but sensual voice streamed through my ears. I smiled. I was put back onto the ground and i spun around so fast i almost fell over. Froth caught me. Every time i started to doubt him he'd go and do something that'd make me regret those feelings. He made me feel guilty and i hated it.

"Froth." I had the biggest smile on my face. He smiled too. His black hair was a lot longer than i realized, and he seemed taller. We hadn't seen each other in three months. He hadn't called. He hadn't looked for me. He hadn't been there... He always knew where i was so he never looked. I was guessing he didn't look because he knew if he needed me i'd find him. I had that sense of knowing when things were wrong. It still made my spirits sink a little that he didn't call me.

"How are you?" i asked not wanting things to be awkward between us.

"I'm alright?"He lied.

"Mmm you're so bad at lying." We walked down the mall passing Hot Topic, Zumiez and a blur of other stores i should know by heart.

"Yeah that's why i've kept my distance from you lately." He looked straight ahead.

"Oh really and what's that supposed to me?"

"It means that when things get crazy i don't want to get into it with you. Everytime i'm around you i just feel like there's soemthing there that shouldn't be. I don't want to have to lean on you all the time. You have a way of making me feel like i'm so much younger than you. Like you're the girl who'll kick everyon'es ass on the playground for taking my lunch. Rae we're not 8 anymore. We're 18." I corrected him in my head. He was 17 and i was 19.

"Sorry. I guess i'll go away. I'm sorry i cause that many problems in your life. I'm sorry you can't even step up to the plate and accept that you're my best friend. You lead me one. Use me. get everything out of me that you want and then you disapear for months. I'm pretty sure all your high school friends care what really happens to you. I can't even begin to get mad at you. IT just.. nevermind. Never fucking mind Froth.: I yanked at my hair.The blond and pink and orange that was piled on top of my head fell and i realized i was crying.

"Rae-" Froth tried to say. I heard the hurt in his voice. In a way it killed me.

"I have to go Froth. I have things to do." He reached for my hand and i took it, kissed it and walked away.
When i got up the next morning Zadok was sitting at the kitchen table. He was sipping coffee and looking out the window. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his neck. He looked up at me and kissed me softly on the lips.You're Shinning all the wrong Colors
While i walked into the mall i noticed Froth was there. He didn't work there but he was always there. I decided after talking with Star that i'd pick up some job applications the next time i was here. I hated people but i needed the money. As i walked past Froth, i counted all the faces i knew. His group of friends were lacking in anything but stupidity. He looked at me but he didn't stop to say hi. I pressed myself against the wall to see if i'd get smaller, and this burning feeling apeared in my chest. I hadn't felt it in a long time. I hated being ignored. It made me feel worthless. It all happened in slow motion which made me feel powerless. I continued walking but two arms wrapped around my waist and picked me up. I screamed.
What a lovely start to my afternoon.

Trust all the things
I tell you are true
Dress up in your best
So I can be proud of you
And never believe I won't turn on you
And never believe I do this for you...

You're leading me on again
And I find it yeah I like it
And I'm reeling in awe for sure
Now I know it was given to me
Given to me, given to me...

How I wish I could be rid of the ennui
Make you regret and make you afraid of me
And never believe I do this for me
And never believe I'll do this gently
Can't believe in broken promises
And render conscious all of me
I'll tell you it's all for you
Then deny it

Given
Seether

"Well i'm your toaster than you're my poptart" Froth

Oh how far away being 16 seemed for me. The best days. The wost days.

Those are days. Days like no other.

and i'm still missing them
"When a poptart has a toaster. That is a wonderful thing."

"You're the poptart to my toaster" Raelin

Story,Chapter 2

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 03:27:22 GMT

So in all honesty, before i actually start chapter two, i just thought i should let everyone know that the opening chapter is the most smartest and deepest thing not about boys and love, besides abortion, that i'll ever tell in his book. From this point on it's the stupid shit that teenagers do. I hope you can handle it. haha.

Open to the scene where Raelin [ myself] and Star*Red* [ my best friend] are on there way to the mall. Finally.

"Fuckin- A Rae."

"That rhymed."

"So you slut that's what 'going to get coffee' means!"
"Haha bitch no way. Zadok and i just started this.... this... what ever the fuck this is, today. Right there."

"Oh really."

"Yah.Honest to god."

"Hmm."

"Don't worry wifey, he's not gonna take me away from yeeeew!"

"Fuckin better not. I'll burn his house down."

We laughed. She knew i wouldn't run off with a boy. We'd just spent so damn much time buying that house in the City of Po-Town, we weren't going anywhere.

"So was he a good kisser?"

"God Yes. I've always had a thing for him but really... i'm speachless."

"Awesome."
"Heh yah."
One thing about Star is that she's a crazy driver. She drives well, but doesn't pay attention sometimes, or pays attention too much. I'm an alright driver. I like being shot gun though because i get to answer her cell phone like her secretary. It's a wonderful job.

But at the moment she decided she wanted to blast some music. So loud with the Peppermint Creeps and off with the conversation. We were known for the infamous speaker blasting. It doesn't help two young girls out when one of their dads sells cars and can get you things, and the other installs things. Also it doesn't help having friends who have huge surround sound systems in their trunk, but hey, over the years we learned but ignored. We were so rocking out. We were the Queens of the car and it felt so great.

We were disolved in the music and suddenly my lap started to vibrate. it was my phone! I turned the music down.
"Helloooo?" I sounded to perky. I hoped it wasn't my mom or dad.

"Hey Rae it's Harlequin!" She was just as perky sounding as i was.

"Heya Harle. What's going on?" i put her on speaker phone.
"Oh not much... yahh. What about you? I tried Star on her phone but i can't get a hold of her." She sounded so bumbed. Star laughed.

"Well she's here if you want to talk to her. We're on our way to the mall to go shopping."

"Oh my god. yay!"

As i let Star talk to Harle i thought to myself,

Wow i miss this girl.

And like ever one i know, Harlequin had her own story.

of course her story is better than mine because Harlequin was a rock star. Well she had that rockstart look goin for her anyway.

She had poofy*[not so much poofy but big] red hair that was just crazy and all over the place. She was the coolest.

And i missed her.

Making a band

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 03:13:58 GMT

So here's a few pictures of my lovely picture skillzzz

So i'm starting a band.

Steve and i actually. And i guess we'll need a profile if we actually amount to something, so here i go. Steve and i have been friends since.. freshmen year, that'd be 2003? yah. i think so. He's played the guitar for a while now. i should find that out. and well last year i didn't see him that much, but he was having all those knee problems. yahhhh. well now his back is messed up and he said that it'd be pretty nifty if he had to get surgry just like Dimebag Daryl. hah. It'd be pretty interesting i'll admitt. but lets see. the band isn't really formed totally yet. we still need a drummer and another guitarist. So far it's Steve, Corey and myself. We're all doing vocals. [[ i actually should be practicing my vocals...]] but anyways we're looking for a unique metal feel. We're gonna be, hopefully a cover band for Seether/ Pantera. hehe. yahh so now i am trying to educate myself with more Pantera, because Seether is one of my favorite bands so i really don't need to know much. I've realized though that i have a horrible memory when it comes to songs. so i'm going to have to push myself pretty hard. and i have to stop being so shy around people when it comes to my singing. i have to be more confident. and i might just take up the drums or the guitar. because even if my vocals suck through the roof, i'm still the manager. when we get the band together, we'll need to put some songs together. Steve is awesome at doing it, i'm rusty, so i need to get my creativity level up more. i'm also horrible with staying on que. i'm going to have a lot to learn. Also gotta get a mic. and we need to figure out whos house we're gonna do practice at. Steve has a shit load of stuff, and the dummer, yah that'll be the hardest part. but if anyone sings and wants to give me advice about it, lemme know!!!! i'm interested on any tips you could give me for singing, taking up and instrument, writing, helping us find the other two band members, anything. it just makes me excited because i've always wanted to sing. i think i'm going to make some angry songs that i'll scream. i wanna be like FlyLeaf. They are AMAZING!!! yah so i guess i have a lot of work to do over the summer. Also i've gotta get in shape. i want to weigh 140 pounds. like anywhere from 135 to 140. i dunno why exactly. i just do. and i need to get a better hair cut. i think i wanna go with the blonde bangs and light chocolatey brown. that sounds cool. :D yep yep.
well i'm gonna go.

i hope you read my story.... i'm gonna update more later actually.

<h1> :]

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 22:02:08 GMT

Best Friends. That's all i have to say.
&hearts;

P.S. Yo. my effin Cut isn't working. Grrr.

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 21:49:02 GMT

So I've decided that Juli inspires me to write. hah. But i am not sure if i started writing this story yet, but here. This is what i've got so far. I'll do it two chapters unless it's really long.
Hmmm i think Paul McCartney is on the radio, it sounds like him, and it's making me really miss my driving rain cd.
I don't think there's much else to write.
Here's my Story.
Like it. Love it. Read it. <3
Oh yes, before i depart. here is one of the funniest pictures i've seen. <3

//I love you crazy boys of Children of Bodom. :D
NOW FOR MY STORY!!!!

_{Writers bock... hmmm everyone gets sucked into it at times. Sometimes it lasted for only days, some other weeks, even some months, but mine was going on for years. just a year. i hadn't been able to sit down and get creative. I didn't understand what i needed to do, or where to go, or how to get my insperation. I figured i needed to live a fantasy in order to write a good book.}

_{My short stories sucked, the plot just disapeared, leaving me with 60 pages and no where else to go. I also didn't space things out. i hurried into romance and sex and overload too many characters. And i knew my mistakes. It didn't matter though. Every story was the same mistake. the same type of characater, who just wanted love and had that special best friend and had that abusive best friend or the abusive boyfriend. They all had a serious problem with something, and they were all parentless basically, there was no rule. I guess it happened that way because that's how i wanted it in my world. They all drove cars and never payed attention in school. They were all who i wanted to be. They wore all the clothes i wish i had. They all had the piercings and tattoos and hair colors and the perfect boyfriends that i wanted. They weren't rich but they never had to work. Worst of all, and i hate myself for it, but they were all white people, who were severly in the "Goth" catigory. Which in real life, i had my white friends, but i was all over the place. I knew everyone.}

_{and so i sit here, listening to my crappy music, in a need of a shower and a clean room, i think to myself how i'm going to start a story that everyone can relate to. and without rushing it. I'm looking for a real life story, where the kids don't stand outside before they go to school unless they're down the road smoking or at McDonalds. Where the kids don't all get along but where there is severe racism and sexism and any thing else ism. I'm thinking of a real place where kids get shot for being at the wrong place at the wrong time, where the kids get in trouble for what they look like, for who they hang out with. For who they know or don't know. I'm thinking of a place that makes people insane because they can't walk anywhere, they need a car to go everywhere. I'm talking about a place where their school is about 10 to 40 minutes away from where they live and has cameras in the parking lots and the main enterence, but in over all there are at least 30. I'm talking a place that isn't bad enough to be considered horrible, but it sure is up there.}

_{I'm talking about Poughkeepsie. Which is a real place. No matter if this book is Fiction.}

_{Now i just have to figure out how to make a good enough book about it. So here is my sad attempt.}

_{History is important to everyones lives. It tells where they came from, how they got there, what it was like way back when, and how far we've come from then. It shows struggles, it shows strength, and it is something that no one really takes the time to notice while they're walking down Main Street on a cold Feburary day. Except myself i guess.}

_{Some of the buildings have been there since the early 1800's. A lot of them aren't there anymore, or they're so different that no one can tell the difference anymore. I sometimes can't when i'm looking through pictures from the 1900's to now. I hated this town and thought to myself i might have liked it way back long a go but i wasn't sure. It was boring. But there was a lot more to do back then i realized from looking at the old pictures. Sometimes i was ashamed of this town, but then i thought to myself, it could always be worse. Poughkeepsie isn't hard core enough to be that bad. In my opinion.}

_{That's another thing. Depending on what type of parents you have, when you're 19 you can do anything you want as long as you call and let them know you're alive all week, or you can't do anything. They freak out if you walk out of the house to grab the mail.}

_{But still continuing down the street there are numerous stores that are useless to most teenagers, except of course the toy store, Collectors Realm. Everyone loves that store. The thing is, that a lot of stores change in the area so who knows if they'll be there in a year from now. But since i like that store, i have high hopes that it will. this is all on the left side of the street if you're coming from main street. To the right after the Elementary school is a Jewlers store and the post office. Again to the left at the end of the street is Juliets cafe; Billiards. and across the street from that, is Vassar College. I know the campus really well because i've grown up there with one of my best friend who's father is a professer there. Every summer we'd walk over from her house or mine since it's only from my house a 10 minute walk if we're walking slowly, from her house about 20 minutes because her house is behind the campus causing us to walk through the woods behind it. I haven't been to the campus lately,but my favorite place was the gardens. They were so pretty.}

_{I wasn't walking there though. I was just wandering. Not sure where to go. I had my Zen Micro mp3 player blasting Ani Difranco, but it didn't really fit my mood. I wasn't in the mood for HIM or CKY or AFI, or Daddy Yankee or Three Days Grace, or POD or Staind. Krs1 and Outkast weren't gonna cut it either and I couldn't believe i had Armor for Sleep was even on my Zen so i decided to listen to Rage against the Machine instead. I'd recently gotten into them because i was told otherwise that the side project of them called Audio slave sucked. I knew more about music that i did about my town history. It was a passion even if i was musically challanged. It was sort of disturbing sometimes to hear old school Nsync or Back Street Boys on the radio but that's how Poughkeepsi did. haha. I suppose you should ignore my humor.}

_{I know i've probably kept you in suspence, and you're sitting there saying, doubleyewteeeeffff, who is dis btych?!}

_{Well i am Raelin.I've lived in this stupid town and i hate it. Well i love it but i hate it. I'm very passionate about things in my life. Like when i wanted to go see Twisted Sister in concert. That i was extremely passionate about, but i didn't get the tickets. I remember the first time i heard that song and actually remembered it. It was at my best friend Starred. It was a sunny summer night at her house and we were listening to everything. I'd heard them before but i really could apreciate it at that age. We were funny little ones.}

_{We grew so much from then.}

_{Like you really care about that. I headed down the street some more and ended up going into Dunken Donuts to see a friend of mine,Zorak. I'd known him for a few years and i always visited him when he was working. I walked in, warm air blasting me when i pulled open the door. I smiled seeing him working. He was adorable. When he saw me he waved me over behind the counter. The girls there looked at me like they we're going to kill me. I smiled.}

_{"Oh my god, Rae. I didn't think you were coming. You okay?" he handed me my usual cappucino; Vanilla with tons of milky foam.}

_{"Yah i'm alright. Sorta annoyed though." I smelled the coffee and grinned. Zadok spoiled me a lot. He had his long black hair pulled back and his big smile and green eyes were sparkling.}

_{"Alright. The usual i'm guessing."}

_{"Yeah. Basically. When do you get off?" i sipped the drink slowly}

_{"7. GRRRR!"}

_{"Really.Hmmmm. Did Starred tell you we're planning on taking a road trip come this June."}

_{"Why june?"}

_{"Because we're broke... That's why."}

_{"Yeah. I love how all your plans work. You know like the plan to go to New York City and move there after high school. That one went well."}

_{"We're saving up. We barely had any money to get the apartment here." I wondered why i was going to get myself into this with Zadok... seriously.
"Well what ever love." He went back to the register, like i wasn't even there. I wondered if he was annoyed or just playing cool. He was one of my best friends. I think that's why i dealt with his shit all these years.The funniest thing is that i met him here, in this store, and every year since i've known him he's complained about leaving, he's apparently dated all the girls or something, but he never leaves. I just laugh at him.}

_{My phone went off and not only scared me but everyone looked at me like they'd never heard a phone go off. I looked at Zadok and pointed to the exit. He nodded and i ran out.}

_{"Hello?" It was cold outside but sunny.}

_{"Hey bitch. Where the fuck are you?" mmm it was my lovely Star. I smiled.}

_{"I went to get a coffee. I'm hangin' with Zadok. Come. Come." I watched the cars fly down main street and squinted my eyes away from the blinding light coming at me.}

_{"I'm at your house. Just pulled up. Do you remember that we were supposed to go to the mall so we could buy clothes cause i just got a huge check from What's His Face." She sounded happy and annoyed.}

_{"Well how'd you figure out i was at my parents?"}

_{"Because you're that obvious. Stop hoping the old days are going to come back and that all of our friends are hanging across the street at Orien's old house."}

_{When she said that i pictured my street a few years ago, all of us like ghosts, there but transparent as the years went along. I heard us laughing, the seasons changed. Memories flooded my head. I did miss them. They were seriously the best days, even if we came home pissed off from something stupid. Of course we thought it was a big deal then. It's just one of those things i miss a lot. Like my Hello Kitty Wallet. I bought it in China town the summer of 6th grade. My mom was going all crazy with Foerign exchange students and we actually had two come stay with us, one left but the other, Annie stuck around for awhile. We talk to her occasionally over the years. She was wonderful. But that stupid wallet holds so many memories. Like my street.
"Star. I'll be up at the house in like 10 minutes. I need to grab a different shirt." When i said that she burst out laughing.}

_{"Raeline. You are retarded sometimes. Think about what you just said!" She was still laughing a lot.}

_{Next thing i knew, Zadok was at my side, smiling and pulling out his pack of cigaretts. I glared.}

_{"Well i want to wear the shirt that gives me uber cleavage..." Still laughing.}

_{Zadok didn't know what was going on but he started to laugh at that comment. Again i glared.}

_{"Hun. We're going shopping. S. H. O. P. P. I. N. G. Which means that i'm coming to get you and we're going to the mall to get clothes."}

_{"Hmmm alright."}

_{"And you're not even a real blonde."}

_{"HEYY. That was so not nice.It doesn't matter if i'm not a true blonde or not."}

_{Zadoc was leaning agains the glass window, on his second cigarett and shook his head and laughed at me.}

_{"What ever. I'll be there in like 2 minutes. bye."}

_"Bye."

_{I turned around and hit Zadok in the arm.}

_{"You need to stop getting into my coversations you jack ass."}

_{"What was that all about?"}

_{"My hitting you?"}

_{"No. The phone call moron."}

_{"Star's coming to get me, we're going to the mall. I forgot i guess."}

_{"Oh. You're not really a real blonde?" He did a sad disapointed face "I really had been hoping too. Darn."}

_"Grrr."

_{"Come here!" He stomped out his cigarett bud and yanked me over to him.}

_{I did aso and he looked into my eyes.}

_{"Don't ever get contacts. You're eyes are too pretty."}

_{I blushed and smiled. I never did well with compliments.}

_{"Thanks. You have nice eyes yourself."}

_{He pulled me against him, i'm not sure if it was for warmth or for the fact that he just wanted to get close, but what ever the reason i did.}

_{"Raeline. You are one of a kind. Please don't go being normal on me."}

_{He was really beginning to worry me.}

_{"I won't. You don't either."}

_{"Good. Buddy."}

_{He stared at me for a few more minutes and grabbed my face and kissed me. His mouth was warm and tasted like cheap coffee and cigaretts, but it was a nice taste.I don't know how long we kissed for, or stared at each other, but all i know is a heard a car honking and a door slammin and a best friend standing next to me.}

_{the next thing made me laugh so hard.}_{"Raelin Maxine Oregard. Why are you always sucking face when we need to be somewhere important?" *insert giggle * " Oh hey Zadok."}

_{I thought of walking to the train station. That was one of my favorite places. It was a long the Hudson river, which was beautiful to watch while the sun was setting on a sunny day. Matter of fact it was just beautiful to look at. And only to look at. If you got too close you'd want to run back away. Many people were killed in that river, or to be disposed of a killing. It wasn't that nice of a place. There was something though, about the train station that made me want to stay there, maybe to work or to have to go to work on the train. It was calm, and even the train itself was a beautiful ride. You learned a lot from riding the Metro North. Or at least i did. I didn't need to know much about school while i was on that train, and yes that might seem really random to say, but in all honesty it is true. You need street smarts to survive Poughkeepsie. I learned that too}_._{You're probably wondering why i'm so interested in the history of this stupid little town in New York and i will tell you honestly that i am not even sure myself. All i know is what i learn from over the years. I know that if you're on Main Street and you just keep going down that road into the City of Poughkeepsie that you'll wind up near the river. And down Main Street at the intersection of Raymond, if you look to your left coming from Seitz Terrace or Van Wagner you'll find my dads used car shop. and if you look straight ahead you'll see my Elementary School a little down the street, it's big thought, but it was just Arlington Elementary until 4 years ago i believe. It was then changed to Arther. S. May. Elementary School. I thought it was so corny because the front grass area has a huge brick A. I get sad when i'm there, and i pass it a lot because down the street farther is the Cubby Hole, which is a hang out for locally not known artists of all ages to go and perform poetry and music. They make really good coffee and it's like a business version of my own room with the christmas lighs strung around and glow in the dark stars and the just relaxing feeling. It's small though and most of us who have mental parents won't let us go there on week nights because it opens at 9 and closes at 1 sometimes.}

Sat, 27 May 2006 02:22:19 GMT

so tomorrow Jill and i leave for Long Island. really early in the morning. 8am. yeah. good times. it will be awesome, because i cannot stand being here.
Kal- the dude i like, ditched me for like... the 4th time. and it's bad because i really like him. :/ even if he's a major pot head, and he is kinda scary at first, and he does weird things, he seems like every other person on this planet, he has some weird issues. but it's okay.. i just don't understand. i don't understand why he'd think girls don't like him, and when one actually does, he blows them off and makes up lies about them. blah. yeah. grrr. i'm becoming a lesbian.

-.-
my head hurts like whoa. but i'm happy i got to play in the rain. it was fun.

Camera Whoreness.

Wed, 24 May 2006 01:58:06 GMT

i am crazy.and my web cam is a fucking cunt. and photobucket makes my pictures small. grrrrrr. oh well. me being a camera whore. <3
xoxoxo <3 enjoi

[[mt favorites are the last two. haha. top and bottom last two. yep yep.]]
Minty

Teenage Dirtbag Baby

Fri, 05 May 2006 01:02:36 GMT

R & R
Rephrase and Redirect

This is going everywhere; this post, F Y I.

i hate when i finish a book. it's that weird feeling that you've just spend fill in the blank hours getting so soaked up into someone elses life. that someone might not even be real, but then again who really knows? it makes me feel like i cannot write something for shit. i noticed this yesterday when i went into Barns and Noble to get my new book; Just Listen, by my favorite author; Sarah Dessen. i am currently mad at myself because i want to have a book on a shelf in Barns and Noble with my name on it, my hard work, organized and attractive on paper, with a shinny glossy cover, one that will attract many readers. but because of myself i just... don't see it happening right now. i mean i'm only 17, but i long for something to go right in my life. not even saying things are wrong, just that i cannot seem to get simple tasks done. If i'm going to write, i'm the type of person who'll need a whole other house, in the woods somewhere with no distractions. but i feel somehow with everything, i'm not living up to being 17 years old. i don't feel 17 sometimes. sometimes i feel much older. when really i know i love being younger. i love acting like there's nothing to fear once i've jumped off the porch, like when i was 10, i'll land on the pavement and scrape myself up, only to just run in and get a band aid, maybe cry if it wasn't intentional... but some days i just want to do that again. some days i just feel my heart isn't ready to move on. i don't want to grow up and i'm not even older. sometimes i just want to dance in the rain and be passionate. confused. niiave. just for a little while longer, instead of being stressed and stupid. no. ignorant. i love ignorance.. not being it, but the deffinition. most people don't realize that stupid and ignorant are two totally different things. but i do. i'm not really smart. in fact i hate school. i hate everything about it. but i love writing. that's mostly what i do when i'm in school. write down stupid things on my mind. Things. Things is such a placeholder; when you know what to say, but don't want to say it. and now i am mad. because with every Sarah Dessen book, i feel that i can relate 100% even if the whole story doesn't go the same way my life is, like my best friend doesn't have a baby, and there's normally no boy in my life like that, just things, no, words, Sarah Dessen says makes me attatched. which is why i'm craving for more books. i cannot get enough of her. i'm just stunned. being a true fan of her makes me want to write like her. while my writing is very far from finnished,she makes me feel inspired. Everyone would be suprised to know i have finnished a few stories. two actually. one was about my life. my secret side. and one was about the future. and like always i've gotten myself distracted. so my thoughts are lost. and i was on a role.
basically now i'm going to go through my latest story and try to move on from there. i have a special way of writing i guess, i just never let anyone see it. Min used to edit my stuff. I thank her very much. Actually Min is the one person i really thought of while reading Just Listen. She reminded me of Clarke and of Whitney. Some people would understand why both remind me of her. and then in some weird sence Owen reminds me a little of myself. I listen to a wide variety of music, not nearly as wide as his, nor as i where i'd want to be varied, and his rings. i wear two rings. they hold meaning to me, and maybe it is my before and after rings. Then i am like Annabel. I keep everything important inside. On another note i am like Sophie. I was popular. Not exremely, but to a point. On another side i can see myself being like Kirsten. i talk a lot, i'm diva ish, i hate school and i prefure having a good time over school work. and i feel like Clarke but with my younger cousin Jahnna. We used to do everything together, she was the more adventurious one, she strayed away fast though when someone cooler came along. I feel like i'm missing her all this time, but really she's never gone anywhere; she just doesn't live down the street from me anymore, and she's old enough to have boyfriends and drink alcohol and smoke pot by her own choice. Also she'd choose any popular pretty model like girl over me, so i've just sighed for the past two years.but in an over all i can relate to this book.

and here i am ranting and ranting about this book. but it's so wonderful. ahh. but it makes me feel so much better.

and of course i feel like Annabel and i fall for a boy. Owen, but my mystery boy is different. actually being 17 makes me hate being 17. i hate lying, but i hate hurting peoples feelings. but i am a hypocrite because all i ever want is the truth, but i don't dish it out when it needs to be there. Like with... lets just call him ... Boy 1. Oh i care about this boy, he's a good friend of mine, but he's older, and he's just getting out of a relationship, and i don't want to get involved because now he's offically single and i get jealous really quickly and it becomes this thing, no, feeling, and habit to just question and doubt myself. i get territorial i guess, but this boy is not mine and i'm not sure i can even really have a relationship with him. for my own reasons, but i'm not exactly sure what they are, i mean i know, but i don't know how to express them.

Then there is boy 2. i've known him for just as long and he too is older, but not as older. and we just started hanging out again recenty and he's more... mysterious. of course he has qualities that make me wonder about him, but for some reason i find myself connecting with him on some sick level. he does a lot of shit i don't like, and i don't want to be baby sitting. but he does take really good care of me in bad situations, and he's not as scary as people make him out to be. don't judge a book by it's over, gawd, assholes.

so i don't know what to do. i'm not good with confrontation.

which also makes me hypocritical.

i have this other friend. we'll just call him... Echo. and he's with this girl Voice. she's really weird with him. she makes poor choices with their relationship and i've noticed this for awhile now, and i feel them going down hill a lot faster than they'd like to admitt. when they got together waaay back, they fell for each other hard, and then they crashed really quickly. This makes my prediction about SEX prooven to be true. I speak from experience too, not just guessing. but i yelled at my friend Echo because for months i've been giving him advice and lately i've been feeling confused and unwanted, misunderstood and just annoyed with people. i guess you can say i've gotten really pushy. he didn't listen to me, and i yelled and i'm still somewhat annoyed, but i've decided to stop giving advice to him. He chose to stay with this girl who apparently makes him so miserable, that's his choice.
family life isn't too great either. my mother has threatened in the past two weeks, going on 7 times, that she's leaving, she can't stand it here, we don't do anything, we're making her miserable... etc.. etc.. blah blah blah. i used to be really upset about it, like in the beginning of the year when she said some really mean things and took off and make my sister cry. it's just gotten worse from then. but she never leaves and we just ignore her, which makes her mad and huffy and she starts slamming things around, and then yells at my dad when he gets home. the poor man already looks like he's going to freakin die of a heart attack from being overly stressed, then she's always attacking him. it makes me sad. oh and speaking of my mother, when is mothers day? i know someone wanted to hang out- Mallory. she had wanted to hang out with us... it's her confermation or something like that. i doubt i'll be able to go, and i don't think i should be forced to stay at home with my mother while she acts like today is any other day. i swear i'm feeling more and more like cinderella. but a lazy one. i stopped doing what she asked while back ago. there's just something there, that's not said that makes me want to push her away. i need my mother. i love her, and i envy girls who are close to their moms, and can talk with them and hang out with them and their moms know what's going on in their lives. Mine is having a midlife crisis or something, she's unemployed and no one can talk to her. my sister said something about her being depressed. well i'm not sure. maybe she is. maybe i am. maybe we just think we are, what ever it is, i just get mad because i don't think my mom and i will ever be like how we were a few years ago, when i could actually talk to her. that just does damage to me; to my heart.

with only a few weeks of school left, on the inside i am really stressed, but my body is so lazy, i can't stay up late anymore, i can't do much. i don't want to talk to people, i just am stiff and cold to people most of the time. sometimes i forget to be nice to people. sometimes i just jump down their throats and i hate it. i hate what i've become, or what i could be becoming. it makes me even more sad. i'm really confused. my best friends, the ones who are supposed to be true, keep falling like flies. what happened to simple things? when did everything have to be so... different and confusing? why does it feel like it's all me; like it's my fault i'm the way i am, is it me? that makes me even more upset. i feel i need someone to talk to now more than ever. i've asked for a shrink for years. so it's not someone personal. i know i'd like getting my feelings out. i keep them all inside. maybe i have anger management or something and no one knows? maybe i'm just very... oh what's the word... besides my moms favorite for being a teenager; Angsty. no it's not that. it's something else. but i realize i've been pushing everyone away slowly. even my dreams are haunting me of what i'm doing. is there something i should do, could i do, about it?

i dunno what ever caused this long typing spree, well Just Listen did, but hopefully i'll just find someone fun, some one who makes me feel just right, because unfortunantly for me, all the boys i've liked, haven't clicked with my heart. i have a big feeling that when the right person comes along, my heart will click into place, and really loud, and i'll know. for now i'll keep dreaming and stressing myself out about what i want to do with my life. i've actually considered moving down south, if not England. If i moved down South, i might be a little bit more lonely, but still okay, but if i moved to England i know my writings would vary and would be crazy, because i'd have to get into the heart of everything. actually both doesn't sound too bad. i'll just have to think about it some more. besides, there could be that boy around here waiting for me, or even there. i'll just have to see. perhaps i could move to NC with my uncle. That would be really really interesting. i know i'd feel love there. ahh. more ranting for later i suppose. This one was a long one. but i did get a few things out, and my writing; i was able to stay on track for the most part. GO OUT AND BUY JUST LISTEN BY SARAH DESSEN <3 i highly recommend it.

over and out in dream land

Minty

look in my eyes so you can see where i'm at

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 19:30:19 GMT

so is today a good day? there's chocolate up the wall in this house, and any other day i'd be running around on a chocolate rush..but today is different somehow. Aunt Sue and Jared are coming for dinner in a bit, and for some reason i just feel totally ...lost? persay...
more and more i'm hating myself for not understanding. Today i might possibly loose all hope for myself. i already feel like a ghost just walking around. i dunno what to do with myself. I thank Meredith for having that in your face what's the matter i'm worried! approach to me. i feel like a horrible friend. Last night i couldn't sleep. i did manage to get sleep though, around 4ish i think. i'm sorta upset it's already 3... and tomorrow and the rest of this week is going to be insane. Janice is coming up Thursday/Friday. and then Prom is Friday night.
so my life doesn't really suck i just am in a horribly bad mood because i can't make up my mind about anything anymore.
mmmmm chocolate...
suddenly my mood changes.
and everything else does.

Sat, 15 Apr 2006 23:39:55 GMT

You scored as Ozzy Osbourne!. You are OZZY OSBOURNE!

Your the 'Prince of fuckin Darkness' man...You and 3 friends created this tiny thing called HEAVY METAL...you are realy funny but produce realy fuckin ugly kids!

</td>

Ozzy Osbourne!

80%

Kurt Cobain

75%

Jimi Hendrix

70%

Slash

65%

Billie Joe Armstrong

65%

Tommy Lee

50%

James Hetfield

45%

What Bad Ass Rock Legend Are you? *with pictures*
created with QuizFarm.com

haha i knew i would be ozzy

Fri, 24 Mar 2006 03:41:35 GMT

so i was grounded because of the past weekend and stuff, which was crazy, but, apparently i'm not anymore.
and i didn't think i would even have to say i was grounded because i could just go on the school computers like i always do and update.
Well not anymore. They friggin block everything in our school. It was my only way if got for bid i really did get grounded and i needed to get a hold of someone not in school. They even blocked GreatestJournal. WHAT IS THIS SHIT?

happy fucking St.Patricks day?

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 14:07:32 GMT

Okay lj-ers.
So this was my weekend.
Friday night Jill, Corina, Josh and I went to a party in Beacon? Or was it Beekmen? What? I don’t even know. What ever. Well we were having fun till Jill had too much to drink and Corina’s phone got stolen. Things got crazy and I found out from my new friend Ray that Nicole, this bitch who used to go to school here, and her boyfriend tried to pressure Jill to have sex with Ray. WTF? I hold no respect for her at all. I had a little, but now none. Fucking bitches. But so after the craziness we get home and make sure Jill’s all right and then we head to bed. The next morning we get up early, Jill’s still asleep and Corina calls the Sprint company and gets all the into for her phone. Josh is going to take us to the Nextel store but we decided to wait until 1-ish to call him and he says he’s gonna take a nap and so we go out onto the Golf Cart. Goooood times. :D I got to drive it on the trails. They even trusted me on the trails after I drove them into a ditch in her front yard. Haha. You know you love me :] <3 but yeah so Josh gets her an hour late because he over slept, and we get to the Nextel store around 4ish. We stay and talk for awhile and before we know it Josh has to be at work at 5. I had tried calling mom before that and even before we left Jills house. Well I couldn’t get through the two times I called. So I finally get to the mall and I call mom and she flips out on me and tells me she’s not coming to get me because now she has to clean her bathrooms and stuff. Lovely right? So Corina calls her dad and they give me a ride home. When I get home I just sleep. I don’t want to deal with anyone. Sunday I go out shopping with Sarah and Dad and I see Zakk and Jen in Best Buy. I also bought a random cd. EvansBlue. I actually like them, They’re pretty cool for eani meanie miney mo. Haha. Yeah I get a hold of Jill though and left Corina a message on her phone and also hear from Josh. And I’m grounded because I lied to my parents and they took my computer away. So if you need to get a hold of me you can call me, just like message me on myspace cause I can check it. So that was my weekend yep yep. well i'm off.

-Minty

Fri, 10 Mar 2006 14:13:02 GMT

well i was going to try to write more to my story, but i'm just not feeling like it for some reason. Not sure why. I always go through writing sprits.

i moved my room around last night. It was intense. haha. not really but i think that's the fastest i've ever cleaned up from moving around. i like it the way it is, it makes me feel more like a SIM or something, but in a good way. I have to get on the computer when i get home because i need to upload a lot of pictures for LOLA *nods* not sure what else

oooh gonna go
update moreeee later

Fri, 10 Mar 2006 04:22:57 GMT

Bondage movie! You're into BSDM (Bondage &

Discipline, Dominance & Submission) and

chances are, you're fond of whips, chains,

harnesses, and tight leather outfits. You

like to mix a little pain with a LOT of

pleasure, baby!

What kind of porno would you star in?
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Romantic movie! You probably won't star in a porno

anytime soon. You seem to be really into the

whole "love" thing...romantic sex

with perfumed sheets and candles all over the

place. You're probably a hopeless romantic.

You value sex and respect your partner too

much to do anything like porn. AWWWWWW! <3

What kind of porno would you star in?
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Thu, 09 Mar 2006 14:07:03 GMT

she's coming undone + Wally Lamb

Mrs. Dugger recommended this book, just reminding myself since i have no paper on me right now.

Elsewhere + Gabriel Debin [[sp]]

Sat, 25 Feb 2006 21:44:44 GMT

Name:	Patricia
Birthdate:	December 14
Birthplace:	White Plains
Current Location:	Po-Town
Eye Color:	Blue
Hair Color:	...brown? i keep changing it, but i'm a natural brunette :D
Height:	5'5''
Weight:	140? not sure
Piercings:	my ears
Tatoos:	none yet :/
Boyfriend/Girlfriend:	ew who wants one of those
Overused Phraze:	cool beans, that's hawt, wtf
*FAVORITES*
Food:	macaroni and cheese
Candy:	skittles
Number:	14
Color:	orange and purple
Animal:	panda
Drink:	rasberry ice tea
Alcohol Drink:	SoCo <3
Bagel:	umm any but the multigrain ones
Letter:	J
Body Part on Opposite sex:	eyes
*This or That*
Pepsi or Coke:	neither
McDonalds or BurgerKing:	neither
Strawberry or Watermelon:	watermelon
Hot tea or Ice tea:	ice tea
Chocolate or Vanilla	both
Hot Chocolate or Coffee:	coffee
Kiss or Hug:	depends on the person i suppose [both]
Dog or Cat:	both
Rap or Punk:	punk
Summer or Winter:	winter
Scary Movies or Funny Movies:	funny scary movies
Love or Money:	love
*YOUR...*
Bedtime:	when ever i want to go to bed
Most Missed Memory:	taking the train every weekend
Best phyiscal feature:	i guess my eyes
First Thought Waking Up:	nooooooo,light!
Goal for this year:	get good grades and still be able to be a bad child
Best Friends:	Corina, Jill, Frank, Kelsey, Corey
Weakness:	boys and good music
Fears:	being alone
Heritage:	irish, french, dutch, english, [i'm so Italian :D]
Longest relationship:	9 months
*HAVE YOU...*
Ever Drank:	*laughs*
Ever Smoked:	yeah just a few times
Pot:	mmmmm..
Ever been Drunk:	all the time; apparently i'm amusing when i am
Ever been beaten up:	no
Ever beaten someone up:	no make love not war
Ever Shoplifted:	well i walked out of a store with an unbought pen once...
Ever Skinny Dipped:	yeah
Ever Kissed Opposite sex:	all the time
Been Dumped Lately:	nope.
*IN A GUY/GIRL*
Favorite Eye Color:	brown and blue
Favorite Hair Color:	dark
Short or Long:	long
Height:	taller than me
Style:	doesn't matter, as long as they're comfortable ^-^
Looks or Personality:	personality
Hot or Cute	both are good qualitys
Drugs and Alcohol:	doesn't matter
Muscular or Really Skinny:	in the middle. just enough for awesome hugs.
*RANDOMS*
Number of Regrets in the Past:	i don't regret
What country do you want to Visit:	Africa
How do you want to Die:	dramatically
Been to the Mall Lately:	haha that's overrated
Do you like Thunderstorms:	i love them
Get along with your Parents:	yeehh... i guess
Health Freak:	not at all
Do you think your Attractive:	mmm i guess
Believe in Yourself:	sometimes
Want to go to College:	i'm not sure yet
Do you Smoke:	weeed?
Do you Drink:	yeah
Shower Daily:	i try too
Been in Love:	just once
Do you Sing:	i try, but i can't
Want to get Married:	no
Do you want Children:	yes
Have your future kids names planned out:	yep
Age you wanna lose your Virginity:	oooops...
Hate anyone:	everyone. i hate people in general.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Tue, 07 Feb 2006 23:23:26 GMT

MESSAGE ME!!!!!! and rate if ya want

Whats ur REAL name???????
brought to you by Quizilla

Nothing, you are pure human. Good job muggel!

What runs in your blood veins?
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Vampire of Serenity

You are cool, calm, and collected.

In your spare time, you probably enjoy chillaxing

with your friends.

Your personality is a very likeable one, and many

people adore you.

You know how to make the best out of a situation,

and people admire you for that.

You love your friends and your friends love you.

Which Vampire Are You? (Beautiful Pics & 7 Results)
brought to you by Quizilla

"The Pirates of the Caribbean" Kiss!

What Famous Movie Kiss Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a PASSIONATE person.
In your point of view, Love makes the world go

round. You are either a hopeless romantic or

a person who secretly longs to be whole. You

believe in true love, and you day-dream about

the day you finally meet your soul-mate. You

are at heart a beautiful person, inside and

out, who is unique and driven by a purpose:

To find your true love.

Your traits:
*Romantic
*Hopeful
*Confident
*Perseverance
*Sincerity
*Sensitivity

Your color: Red/ Lavender
Your Quote: "If you love someone, set them

free. If they come back, it's meant to

be."

.oOo. What Are You Really Like Inside?[ Anime pics included.] .oOo.
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Relaxed</b>

You have this constant feeling inside that says

that everything will be alright. Calm cool,

you invented the Chill Pill! (WHAT?!)Whenever

there's a problem you don't spaz out, that's

why people come to you for advice because

you're really reliable. Not many people have

the aura of calmness that follows wherever

you go. Whenever people are around you, they

loosen up, relax, just by being near you!

Your motto is 'Sit back and relax'. Stay the

way you are, because you rarely get stressed

out!

Please Rate and Message!

What's The Girl Inside of You? .:BEAUTIFUL Anime Pics AND Music!:. (UPDATED!)
brought to you by Quizilla

didn't finish but someone else do it!!! i'll get around to it later

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 16:13:38 GMT

[Currently...]
//currently reading: Hush
//currently listening to: nothing
//currently writing: thinking of poetry
//currently watching: nothing
//currently wishing: for something that is lost
//currently wanting: my headache to go away
//currently crushing on: a secret extremely important person
//currently in [what room are you in]: the computer lab 3rd period in AHS…
//currently wearing: um….a crazy outfit

[What's to your...]
//whats to your right?: some kid
//whats to your left?: Mrs. Dugger and her office
//whats in front of you?: my water bottle and the computer
//whats behind you?: some more kids anymore computers

[Favorites]
//favorite book[s]: This Lullaby, Gingerbread, Interview with a vampire dream catcher
//favorite song[s]: Join Me by Him, Somebody to Love by Jefferson airplane, Lonely day and sugar by System of a Down…
//favorite artist[s]: Ville Valo… if you mean music artists
//favorite writer[s]: Sarah Dessen, Anne Rice
//favorite food[s]:
//favorite color[s]:
//favorite subject in school:
//favorite room in your house:
//favorite place to be:
//favorite movie[s]:
//favorite tv show[s]:
//favorite store[s]:
/favorite clothing brands[s]:

[Love Life]
//boyfriend/girlfriend?:
//if so, how long?:
//if not, do you want one?:
//who do you like?:
//have you ever told anyone [other than family members] you loved them?:
//did you mean it?:
//how many guys have you kissed?:
//how many girls have you kissed?:
//how many guys have you dated?:
//how many girls have you dated?:
//what do you look for in a boyfriend or girlfriend? [physically]:
//what do you look for in a boyfriend or girlfriend? [personality]:
//longest relationship?:
//shortest relationship?:

[Have You Ever...]
//had sex?:
//given oral sex?:
//recieved oral sex?:
//drank alcohol?:
//smoked?:

[Do You...]
//drink alcohol?:
//smoke?:
//watch porn?:
//do drugs?:
//self-harm?:

[Your Bed]
//size:
//sheets:
//how many pillows:
//stuffed animals:

[Odds n Ends]
//Obsessions:
//bad habits:
//weird fact about yourself:
//what kind of music are you into?:
//best concert:

[This or That]
//summer or winter:
//spring or fall:
//summer or fall:
//winter or spring:
//clean or dirty:
//night or day:
//rain or shine:
//grass or pavement:
//radio or cds:
//vhs or dvd:
//board games or computer games:
//light or dark:
//movies or mall:
//football or hockey:
//hockey or lacrosse:

[What do you think when you hear...]
//metallica:
//britney spears:
//christina aguilera:
//kiss:
//queen:
//good charlotte:
//simple plan:
//Thursday:
//bright eyes:
//bad religion:
//bad company:
//scorpions:
//journey:
//otown:
//backstreet boys:

[In Your Own Words]
//your life motto:

[Quotes]
//favorite quote:
//favorite lyric:
//favorite oxymoron:

[Personal Hygiene]
//do you shower every day?:
//what toothpaste do you use?:
//do you floss?:
//mouthwash?:
//deoderant?:
//shampoo?:
//conditioner?:
//body wash?:
//face wash?:

[Make-up]
//foundation?:
//powder?:
//eyeliner?:
//mascara?:
//eyeshadow?:
//lipstick or lipgloss?:
[Primping]
//shaving or waxing?:
//tweezing or waxing?:
//barber or salon?:
//straigtening or curling?:

[Looks]
//hair color:
//eye color:
//skin color:
//nail color:
//height:
//weight:
//build:

[How Often Do You...]
//go shopping?:
//go to the movies?:
//go out for dinner?:
//clean:
//exercise:
//watch tv:
//read:
//go online:

Wed, 04 Jan 2006 01:09:00 GMT

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|	16%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|	16%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|	16%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Religious	\|\|	10%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	44%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com